Dear Politics,
I do not usually write letters. In fact as of recently I just became literate, I do not live in a rich state. This may seem weird but I used to be in love with you, but no longer. I heard, I usually do not like to believe rumors, I prefer it straight for the horse’s mouth but Transparency told me over drinks at Bungalow eight that you had been fooling around with Money.
Now, it if was only one time, and you were running on Havana Gold and Red Bull, I might have been able to let it slide, but when I found out that that occurred multiple times in multiple different places I had to put my foot down. I was crushed for a whole week I watched Gilmore Girls until my new Blu Ray copy literally melted inside the machine and set my entire Artist’s loft ablaze. As far as my material world goes, I am fucking shattered, but in the realm of being spiritual, I adhere to the Indian Customs of bathing in the Ganges river, so I went down to the Hudson and cleansed my spirit but sadly did not realize there was a jet ski for erectile dysfunction charity event and I was hit in the head by a propeller. After being in the ICU for nearly seventeen days the superb team of Assholes (I have no insurance) helped me to achieve the look of something akin to the Elephant Man, something William Jefferson Clinton wouldn’t have had sex with, unless of course it was thanksgiving. Don’t ask LOL.
So the to make a long story short I hate you and I hate myself even more for believing that one day you would be able to love me like I wanted you to, cradle me with education incentives, seduce me with a finality on the agreement of the non-proliferation of Nuclear Weapons, and finally the idea of waking up next to you with a gift of legislation in your hand to end the horrible war in our country that asks: Blackberry or Iphone?
You let me down and the enmity I hold for you is like the rivalry between Estonia and Latvia. Yes I am afraid it is that serious, you miserable snatch thief.
I would write sincerely but I do not know how to spell it,
Fuck you and everything you stand for,
A. Regan.
p.s. The capitol building looks like a chode, and the columns at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue are so gaudy I am just dying to call you someone with a sense of Feng Shui.
p.m.s I do believe in Karma, so I just wanted to wish you good luck with all the people that you are killing around the world in the name of broad words like Hope, Freedom, Sovereignty, and Epidermis.
Ass. I miss you.
