Cute right?The future is coming, do you know what it holds in store for you? I do. You have just bought a 3 Liter cup of scalding hot Coffee Acid and are crossing the street when a 2007 BMW X8 (Burgundy in Color) slams into you eviscerating your entire body. Amongst the strewn intestines and splattered open stomach which clearly shows you ate at Indochine, you are looking for your Blackberry Planet Destroyer to finish that message. Will this happen to you? Most likely, but Me, Myself and I are offering you a chance to escape a death no one will remember not even your own Children because they will be playing on Xbox 180 and dodging bullets of warring factions of the PC Liberation Front and the People's Militia of Apple. When will the fighting end? I have an answer and no it is not Agent Orange, we all saw how that WOOPS! turned out. My new mail service, MAIL HAS TEETH has trained Kodiak Grizzly Bears to not only deliver your thoughts, jaded emotions, and tragically monotonous sexual encounter with a CPA who has a goiter that you regale about to everyone with the power of a huge massive animal. Bears have Sharp teeth, but they also like honey and cardio. These bears will pick your kids up from school, eat the drivers of the Beamer the night before it happens (They are all psychic; this is not guaranteed, we just our bears Enriched Uranium) , and ultimately get your message across, you are not taking a German Car to the mid-section, no way no how!
So order today at MAILHASTEEH@HALLIBURTON.COM and you will receive a cub and let the magic begin.
*Remember you have to gain the bear's trust. Do not drink in front of the bear it sets a bad example. Do not touch the bear when it is meditating. Absolutely under no circumstances are you to interfere with the bear's weekly viewing of Werner Herzog's EPIC DOC, The Grizzly Man. There are many more DON'T! but to it is all common sense. Your bear will kill you if you violate these simple stipulations.
Order now, or say hello to your guts for me when they have fused with the bumper of a used car, GROSS. ओम
Cute right
**Never look at the bear pensively.
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